Broken courage

He came into the room

He came into the room
The others turned their heads
"hey man what do you say?"
"I came here to clear my mind"
With his boots stomping loud
He roamed to the bar
"hey man what do you drink?"
"I came here to drawn my sorrows..."
Holding his drink he headed upstairs
"hey honey what do you desire?"
"I came here to dry my tears on your skin"
Finally he entered his home
"hey man where have you been?"
"i've been far away from my soul"
Looking into her eyes he roared
"I came here to kill my love"
With a bang she fell to the ground
"there's no where else for me to go"
Then he sat and waited
Demons came and ate him alive...

Chaos

Chaos is here!
Trying to control what’s happening.
Failing every time.
Struggling to keep above water level.
Going down with the tide.
Holding on to what’s left.
Watching everything go.
Time is slipping away.
Never realising where it went.
Trying to reach you.
While my legs take me further from you.
Surviving the chaos till it stops.
Till it all stops...
Chaos is here...

Destroyed

The back is aching.
The head is about to explode.
The eyes sting with the tears that fall.
I build new dreams on the remains of broken ones.
I love what I have but weep over what I’ve lost.
Each broken dream tears up my heart.
I use new dreams as bandages...
All soaked in bitterness...

"M"

Take a deep breath

Once, standing alone.
Empty heart on my hands.
Body in tepid water.
Staring at the clouds above.
Waiting for someone to come and pull me out.
Then, you came along.
My heart on your hands.
Body under electric charge.
Staring at the sun.
Madness took the ground from under my feet.
And again, standing alone.
Broken heart on the floor.
Body laying on ice.
Eyes closed.
Take a deep breath...
And here I go again.

"M"

The monster

Awake all night,
Watching shadows run up the walls.
Your demons showing the face.
Distorted black shapes of fear.
Should close your eyes.
If only you could remember the angels.
The warm touch on your skin.
Forgot about the tender sigh of love.
It’s only pain you keep in mind.
Hectic creating a torture chamber.
Ready to lock yourself in.
Nurture the beast under your bed.
Nourish the devil behind the mirror.
Carry the monster under your skin.


"M"

God is not dead

Another little war...
Humanity bombing itself again.
The animal is thirsty...
For blood and power.
The beast in sheep’s clothing...
Bringing bloody freedom to the oppressed.
Another brotherly killing...
For a hand full of coins.
Another sisterly heart breaking...
For the pleasure of it.
The creature is the centre again...
All must bow in submission.
God’s creation at its best...
As always.
Depressed from day one...
Waiting for His master piece to self destroy.
God is not dead.
Just taking a nap...


"M"

The man

From high above,
He fell to the ground.
The man in rags.
The fallen man.
Turned to you, asking for help.
Fear got you running.
He came again,
Asking for shelter.
Panic got you screaming.
Saw the man again and again...
Across the street,
Down the alley...
Staring into your eyes.
Tormenting you,
Wanting what’s yours...
Your coat, your house, your soul...
Dread put a gun in your hand.
Got the man on his knees...
Pressed the trigger...
From high above,
You fell to the ground.
You’re the man in rags.
The fallen man.

"M"

Morning sickness

Wake up to the new day.
Choking with the new day.
Limbs heavy as lead.
Here I go again to a new day.
Sick to my stomach...
Going through the motions.
With the soul screaming NO!
I’m stuck here!
In this endless repetition...
In the senseless dragging of days...
Nothing new about this day.
Tied up to a routine.
Began with dreams...
Ended up in pain.
With burning eyes I get to the streets.
Overwhelmed by reality.
Facing the new day sick to my stomach.

"M"

The fraud

I’m not part of your group.
Who are you, anyway?...
The well educated, the illuminated?
I swear and curse.
And I’m not sure about a single thing.
But you still think I’m with you.
Is it the way I look?
Or the way I talk?
Funny enough, your neighbour thinks I’m with him.
The respectful, responsible, reasonable ones.
If he only knew some of the things I’ve done...
The subtle way I run from what may tie me down...
If he could only read some of my thoughts...
And he still thinks I’m with him...
Is it the way I look?
Or the way I talk?
I’ve always fooled you all, with a smile.

"M"

Good!

You put out an act you don’t believe in.
Trying to convince everybody you’re someone else.
Someone you know you’re not.
Want everybody to love you, when you hate yourself.
Seeking for admiration in the eyes of a stranger.
Begging for attention.
Pathetic to the bone.
Wanting to impress with all the things you have.
Failing to impress with who you are!
Looking for revenge from all those who saw though the mask.
Death to the ones that rejected you!
Demanding for love although you don’t know what it the means...
I tried to be a friend, gave you my hand.
But you demanded for more.
Realizing you weren’t going to get it, tried to shoot me down.
Yes, I know you’re disturbed...
But I’m not your psychiatrist and I’m not your mother...
All I want is to get as far from you as I can.
You’ll end up alone...
And one day you’ll die...
Good!


"M"

The jump

Run up the stairs.
Breathless at the top of the building.
Step onto the ledge.
Fell the breeze whisper in my hears.
What if I jump?
Abandon myself to the fall.
Surrender to sweet gravity.
Embrace the void.
Smile at eternity.
But, today, the sky is so blue...
Feel a smile on my face...
No, I’m not jumping today.
Step off the ledge.
And run down the stairs.

"M"

Drunken

I’m really drunk!
And I’m really fucked up!
But I don’t care...
Do you care?...
I really don’t care!
I don’t know what I’m saying...
And I don’t mind...
It’s good, for a change...
Let me say whatever I want!
Even if it doesn’t make any sense!
I told you... I’m drunk!
I love you and hate you.
All at once.
Let me laugh!
For no reason...
Just let me...
And now I want to cry!
I’m sure I have a good reason for it...
Not really sure what...
There must be something...
Let me laugh and cry!
All at once!
I told you... I’m drunk!

"M"

Painful

I’m sorry Sir, but I don’t get it...
Music is piercing my eardrums.
It’s messing up my mind!
Can’t think straight!
Can’t find anything remotely similar to a rhythm!
All this musical chaos is freaking me out!
Anxiety has taken over me!
My heart is having trouble keeping it’s own beat...
But it looks like I’m the only one...
All others seem to be ecstatic!
A woman with closed eyes and a blissful smile on her face...
A boy nodding to his own rhythm...
Solemn faces, as if in the presence of perfection...
And here I am, leaning against the wall, agonizing!
I’ve got a back ache and my head is about to explode!
Feeling forced to swallow my torment and just smile.
Must be polite, well-behaved... nice...
On the stage a musician moves as if he’s having a stroke.
Another seems to be about to be sick all over his instrument!
A drunk standing behind me shouts “One, two, three, four! Cool!”
Someone offers me a seat...
Now I’m really fucked!
Just two feet from the band!
I can’t hide in the dark now...
I can’t keep on ignoring the music...
Now it’s right on my face!
Oh, shit!
I don’t want to be here!
Someone give me rock music!
Someone give me a back rub!
Someone give me an aspirin!
I’m sorry Sir, but I really don’t fucking get it!!!


“M”

Lifted

You lift me high.

In your arms I touch the sky.

My soul drifts with the wind.

You’re home and harbour.

There’s life thriving in you.

I feel your energy feeding my dreams.

Your wisdom soothing my pain.

You’re the pause in hysteria.

A subtle blessing.

Like a song filling the air around me.

In you, my sorrow is silenced.

My regrets turn into smoke.

You make me weightless.

Travelling among the clouds.

Touching the sky.

You lift me high.

"M"